Mixed Emotions About Adoption: How Birth Parent Counseling Can Help

When you reach a certain point in your adult life where you have raised the children you intended to have and you feel like your years as a parent are complete, the last thing you may not want to hear is that you are pregnant again. In your forties or fifties, raising a child now means that the child will not be eighteen, before you are in your sixties or seventies and supposed to be retiring. If you do not believe in abortions, adoption may be your only choice. However, you may have mixed feelings about adoption, too. Here is how birth parent counseling can help you come to a decision and feel good about the decision you are making. 

Help You Decide Whether or Not You Have the Will, the Energy, the Money, and the Drive to Raise Another Child

A lot goes into raising a child. It is not just about money or the desire to raise another child. It is about the will, the energy, and the drive, all of which you have to have to spend another eighteen years raising another baby. (Never mind the first year of life, where you will never sleep, for weeks; most people half your age barely manage.) A counselor will help you talk through all of the pros and cons of having a late-in-life child versus putting this child up for adoption. 

Match You With Parents You Can Feel Good about Giving Your Child to to Raise

Sometimes, picking a family to raise your child, meeting with them, and getting to know them really helps solidify your decision. When you find a couple that makes you really comfortable and really excited about the option of adoption, it can help solidify your decision to put this child up for adoption. If you also choose open adoption, it is possible for you to see the child through the years, send gifts and cards, and maybe even visit. Some couples are very willing to allow this kind of close relationship just for the opportunity to adopt a child. They know that it helps alleviate fears and concerns about the well-being of the child that the birth parent may have through the process and throughout the coming years. 

Offer Grief Counseling after the Adoption Process

Giving up a child is hard. Even if you made up your mind not to keep the baby, after finding out that you were pregnant, it does not make the process easier. Birth parent counseling includes post-adoption grief counseling that helps you deal with the "loss," so that you can feel good about the decision you have made.