There are few things more painful than learning that your significant other has been unfaithful. When you have been loyal to your partner and expected the same loyalty in return, only to learn they have been having an affair, it is natural to feel heartbroken and shocked. It is important to take proactive steps to secure your own emotional wellbeing as well as the health of your relationship, if you decide to remain together. Here are a few tips to help you get through this trying time.

1. Seek Couple's Counseling

A couple's counselor can be your best ally when it comes to making sense of what your partner has done and learning to heal and forgive when the time is right. Your couple's counselor will help you learn to communicate your hurt in a way that your partner can actually hear and empathize with. You will learn better communication techniques, how to restore intimacy when you're ready, and how to unpack everything that led to your spouse cheating.

If you decide to stay in your marriage, your counselor will give you tools to set better boundaries and rebuild trust. If you decide that you can't forgive your partner and need to move on, your counselor will help you do so in the most peaceful and civil way possible.

2. Practice Mindfulness

It's good to talk about what happened with your partner, your therapist, and trusted friends and family so that you can truly process your emotions. The problem comes when instead of simply processing in order to heal, you find yourself fixating and ruminating on the most painful details of the affair over and over. Practicing mindfulness, usually in the form of grounding or deep breathing exercises, helps you to regain a feeling of calm. Your therapist can help you learn to be more mindful, but there are also simple mindfulness exercises online to try out.

3. Take Care of Yourself Physically

It's important not to give in to the temptation to neglect your health, avoiding sleep and exercise, eating junk food, and generally not taking care of yourself. Getting lots of rest, eating nutritious food, and getting fresh air and exercise will actually help you feel stronger and more focused. This is so important as you cope with this challenging time.

Coping with a significant other's infidelity is painful and complicated, but by following these tips, you will be able to come to peace with what has happened. For more information, contact your local couples counseling professional.